Most women want to date a man who agrees to a mutually exclusive relationship. This is important for women because their number one need is to feel secure and respected by her partner, especially if you are looking for someone who has the potential and the goal of getting married. In our current times it seems that finding a man like that has become increasingly challenging. I hear this frequently in my counseling sessions with women who are frustrated because they have dated men who just want to have a good time, but are not necessarily interested in commitment.
As a woman you must be smart and clear about the type of man you are looking for. Take your time to meet the right people, and to evaluate whether the guy you want to date has a similar mindset as yours. Here are some tips to help you in this process.
- Value and respect yourself. This means that you know yourself well and your strengths. Know what you have to offer, and for goodness sake, don’t settle for less than what you want in a partner.
- Take your time to get to know the person. Don’t act desperate. Early dates with a guy need to be short and sweet.
- Be honest from the start. Let him know that you want exclusivity, and see what he says. In my book “How to Repair a Marriage: Easy Steps to Rekindle the Love and Passion” I discuss the fact that dynamics in a dating relationship are established from the beginning. Let the fellow know what you are looking for. If he’s on a different path than yours, let the relationship go before you get emotionally attached. It will be less painful this way.
- If after dating for a while he tells you that he loves you, but wants to date other women, you need to figure out if something changed, or if this was his plan all along. Either way, I would say that he has different goals than yours. If you compromise your principles and objectives by going along with this, you are lowering your standards. It’s better to break up and let him come back to you if he is really interested in you.
- Take care of yourself and get involved socially. You may find the right guy eventually. The more opportunities you have to meet people, the higher the chances that this will happen in the near future. Volunteering is a good avenue for meeting someone who has similar values and life philosophy as yours.