Achieving a healthy, strong relationship with our partner is an ongoing process based on love, commitment, and dedication. What a lot of people don’t know is how to build or maintain that kind of relationship with their partner, nor recognize that certain things can erode the emotional connection that initially brought them together.
To begin, is difficult to love someone you don’t know well. Many couples don’t take the time to get to know each other well. The initial spark that many couples confuse with love is usually infatuation, not genuine love. It takes time to discover the real person behind the early spark of attraction that causes couples to want to pair up. Healthy marriages or dating relationships are those where both partners learn how to accept the good, the bad, and the ugly in each other. We all have those positive and not-so-positive aspects of our personalities. The good news is that your most intimate relationship can be the crucible in which partners can experience personal and collective positive change. The genuine sense of safety in the relationship can provide an atmosphere of mutual support and understanding where genuine love can grow.
In some relationships, however, one or both partners hang on tightly to the idealized image of the other, which they created in their own mind from the beginning of their relationship. This is usually followed by placing that individual on a pedestal and having unrealistically high expectations which leave little or no room for their human flaws. They can’t disappoint you, make mistakes, or fail to be who you expect them to be. When that person falls off their pedestal, it’s usually a hard fall where that idealized image gets shattered. Usually this spells the end of the relationship, or if the partners remain in it, it’s a painful and stressful experience because they don’t know how to re-invent the relationship in a more realistic fashion.
Does this ring a bell for you? If it does, the best thing to do is to take corrective action before it’s too late. Seek professional help if you can’t do this on your own. You may want to check my new book “How to Repair Your Marriage: Easy Steps to Rekindle the Love and Passion”, available in printed and digital forms through Amazon.