Let me first say that women have great intuition, especially when it comes to relationships. So, if you sense that your partner is pulling away, you need to trust your gut instinct and address your concerns in an open and honest manner. Here are some useful tips on how to do that.
- Don’t panic. If you do, you will not be able to address the issue appropriately because you will be emotionally overreactive. This will cause your partner to get defensive, or disconnect altogether.
- Prepare yourself before you bring up your concerns to him. I usually suggest that you take time to write a short, concise letter that respectfully conveys your feelings, concerns, and observations of what you think is happening in the relationship.
- Ask him for a time to talk, and request that he give you 15 to 20 minutes of time. Select a quiet, private place to meet.
- Start the conversation by thanking him about his willingness to talk with you. Ask him to let you read the letter you wrote, and ask him not to interrupt. This is important so that you are able to fully express yourself, and will allow you to keep the conversation on track. Tell him that you would like him to respond to what you have said in the letter.
- When you are finished, welcome his feedback and continue the conversation if it is going well. If not, take a break and engage again once both of you are calm and rational.
- Be receptive to what he has to say, and respond to what he expresses.
- Work as a team to improve things if he tells you that he’s pulling away because of negative things that are going on in the relationship.
- Be gracious and hold on to your dignity if he confirms that he wants to break up.
- Take time to recover from your loss, and don’t jump into a rebound relationship. You need to grieve the loss of this one first.