If you are reading this, chances are you are one of those women who want to have a relationship, while the man you are interested in just wants to be friends with benefits. What I have to say on this subject is not very popular these days, but as a woman and as a clinician I have the obligation to speak truth to people who want guidance, so here it goes.
The mere fact that you want relationship speaks to the values you hold as a person, and as a woman. Human beings are wired to desire genuine connection to others, especially to a specific someone they find attractive. Here are some tips for you:
- If you want relationship and that special person just wants something casual, be clear about your values, and make sure you communicate your desires and expectations in this regard.
- Do not abandon your principles for the sake of a sexual exchange that, more than likely, will leave you empty and disappointed with yourself.
- Consider the fact that during sex your brain releases attachment hormones that will cause you to develop deeper feelings for your partner. Women in particular tend to get more attached once sexual intercourse occurs.
- Ask yourself if it’s worth investing in something that you know from the outset that has no potential for fulfilling your desire for a real relationship.
- Ask yourself if casual sex will make you feel used by your partner.
- Ask yourself if you want to take a chance with your health. Many sexually transmitted diseases are disseminated through casual sex. Some of those diseases, even when treated, will cause infertility later on. Others will last a lifetime, compromise your well-being, can be transmitted to any other sexual partners, and to an infant during childbirth.
- Take care of yourself and go after what you truly want. Don’t settle for less. You’ll be glad you did.